Holding back: Chapter 1
Written on: December 5, 2008
Time: 3:03 PM

Looking at her, becoming intoxicated with her warm scent; I just wished that time could just choose to stop that that moment. To be with her now was a sin, but a sin that I was willing to bear.

The sin of being around her was that of lust; how could one just fall in love with someone who has already found another? But even if it was a sin to bear, I wanted her, to hold in my arm, to kiss and to love. Was it even possible?

Even though at a first glance she might seem to be just another plain Jane, getting to know her more, the more intriguing she becomes. She isn’t someone who lets people get close but when she does, she shows you a multitude facets of herself, the strength, the anger, the passion, to cute little insecure girl; there are just too many to explain, too much to learn and too much to fall in love with.

The way she moves around reminds me of the graceful movement of a cat, the way she looks at you just makes you want to look deep into her eyes. The beauty that she exudes isn’t something that that people will catch but if you look long and deep enough it is always there.

This is the first time in my lonely life that I have found something in someone that I want for myself, it was something that wasn’t just a physical attraction but more of an attraction that couldn’t be explain with only works. It was a feeling that would have been able to make me smile just by seeing her.

Feeling sleepy, I went through the notes I was currently studying, there was still much left that I didn’t understand or left out because it was too difficult to fathom, but looking up at the wall clock, it was nearing 2 a.m. in the morning, shock at how much time has passed.

“Do you think we should continue on tomorrow Miss Tan Weiqi?? It’s already 2 in the morning, aren’t you even feeling sleepy at all??”

“Now that you mentioned it, I am pretty bushed. Time to go back to my room, and Mr. Lim Yiwei, being tired doesn’t grant you the freedom of not sending me back home you know?”

“Do I have to??” but even before I could finish my sentence, she gave me those eyes that I couldn’t say no to, “Oh alright, thank god you live like five minutes away from here…”

Walking her to her block was something I'm use to do since we have grew up together in the same neighborhood ever since we were in secondary school so sending her home was not something that was unusual.

As we were approaching her block, she suddenly stopped and turn to me, which happened too abruptly causing me to bump into her.

"Opps, I'm sorry girl. I didn't..." I couldn't continue the next line because she just hugged me out of no where.

I wanted to hug her back but the thought of betrayal ran through me stopping me from hugging her back.

Damn.

"What's wrong girl? You know that you can tell me right?", but silence was all she gave me as a reply.

Letting her hug me for a while longer, she released her hug on me and told me that it was nothing wrong and that it was just a reward for sending her home.

I sent her to to her apartment and waited till her was safe before bidding her goodnight.


As I was walking back home, I was just thinking to myself why did she do that? And why did she sound so sad when she told me that it was nothing. Should I just ignore what she told me or should I ask her again when i do get the a chance?

With that thought hammering at my mind, I slowly drafted off to a place where I saw her smiling at me...