Holding back: Chapter 2
Written on: December 8, 2008
Time: 10:21 PM

To think that everything is possible. When I was younger, there was a toy that I really wanted but did not have the money to buy it; so I stole it, but ever since that day, I've never stopped feeling guilty that I did.

She seems okay today, nothing out of the ordinary; just as if nothing had happen the night before.

It could be just because she thought I was someone else, her boyfriend, or just something I should not even be thinking of.

I've wanted to ask her what happened the night before but I just didn't have the guts to ask about the night before.

"You... okay? You've been spacing out the whole day today. Hmm." I told her that it was just cause i didn't have enough sleep the night before, which was true to a certain extent.

"Oh.. You've just been studying too had most of the time. You should really have a break once in a while.... Stop studying and start SLEEPING!!" slapping my back while telling me that.

The rest of the day passed excrutiatingly slowly. No matter how i try to distract myself to think about something else, my mind keeps on going back to what happened the night before. I really feel that thinking too much will kill me very soon; if i don't ask her soon, I'll sooner or later think myself to death. Okay, I'll go look for her after classes have ended.

After classes ended, I made my way to her class, but even before I could reach her class i saw her with her boyfriend Junjie; without even thinking i turned the other way and walked away before she noticed me.

"Yiwei!" Spinning round on reflex to hearing my name, I saw them hand in hand.

"Yo! Where are you going in such a rush. You know that you could at least look for me and we could go home together."

I told her that I had something on and without waiting for a reply, walked away as normally as possible.

Boy am I in a confused state of mind. First she hugs me then the next day I see her with her boyfriend. Couldn't the world be a little more similiar to understand? What did last night mean, or did it have no meaning to begin with? Should I just forget that it happened or should I harp on about this matter till the end of time?

ARGH........... She's always been a good friend to me, hugging me doesn't have to mean anything just like what she said, nothing. But why do I feel so pissed off for? Why was i feeling so excited when i was walking to her class?

Have I fallen for her?