Holding back: Chapter 3
Written on: December 10, 2008
Time: 8:39 PM

No one is prefect no matter how much one tries but without even trying people can be selfish. It’s a wonder how something evil seems to always be the easier way out. No matter how good a person maybe, there is always something evil all the good he shows; only thing holding it back is a mask that’s shackled by heavy chains.

Lying on my bed thinking of what just happened I felt that I shouldn’t be thinking of her like this, she already has someone that she loves. Even so, no matter what I do I am still thinking about her. Why did she do that yesterday night; why is it that I cannot just leave it as it is; nothing?

What did I expect would happen? Nothing will happen, she's happy with who she's with right now, why would she be thinking about me, I am just average looking, don’t really have money and can't even come close to be compared with her boyfriend which is the total opposite of me, handsome, rich, a nice guy and loving?

Argh! Enough of this! My test is tomorrow; I should be studying and not pondering on something I cannot come up with an answer to.

Waking up in the middle of the night I realize that I fell asleep on my note. Boy, my neck is stiff. Getting ready to dive onto my bed I heard a beep from my mobile; checking it I found that she called me and also left me a text saying, “Are you ok? You seem to be avoiding me the whole day today… Did I do something to upset you? Please just tell me and not let me think that I did if I didn’t do anything. =x Calls me soon ok? Hugs”

Why am I smiling? Should I call her now and tell her nothing is wrong? No; I shouldn’t it is already three in the morning. Ah, I’ll just leave her a text saying that she didn’t do anything to upset me and everything was okay.

Oh, I feel retarded; smiling in the middle of the night over nothing.

Waking up feeling lethargic, I really, really don’t feel like going to school. Nothing would make me happier than to skip school and not take the test, but that’s just a dream of a dream. Whatever it was, I still have to attend class rain or shine, which sucks.

The test was a killer, great, just great. Not only was I moody today, I was moody and pissed.

“Hey! How was the test? Nothing difficult for you, right?” what great luck I am having today first a killer then a stalker.

“Err, it was okay, not really as easy as I thought it would be, how about you? How do you think you'd fare?” I asked Michelle.

“Mmm, most likely gonna fail it. Haha, hope I don’t though?”

She continues on about the questions asked and what I answered and suddenly asked me whether I wanted to eat with her so that she could discuss the questions in greater detail.

It wouldn’t be nice to say no to her and leave her alone so I agreed. The thing about her was that no matter where I might be, I would bump into her, even outside of school. Either it was just pure coincidence or she has been following me around.

Even though she can be quite irritating at times, she can still be a nice person to share a laugh with. After lunch, we went our separate ways to class.

Having to spend the rest of the day in class was something that I really dread. An hour more, I just have to wait for another hour and I’ll be out of this hell hole.

With another thirty more minutes to go I felt my mobile vibrating, checking my mobile, I saw that Weiqi was calling me.

“Hello?” I whispered “I’m still in class right now.”

“Can you come out of class now? I really need to talk to someone. Please?” sounding like she could start crying any minute.

Telling her that I would be there in a few moments, I quickly packed my stuff and rushed out class telling the lecturer that I had something on and that I had to leave now.

Seeing her outside class, she seems so lifeless and so fragile like she could just breakdown at any point of time.

“Hi”, she said in a small voice.

“You seem like you could die at anytime, what happened? Anyway before that let get out of school first.”

“Okay…”

While walking out of school, I turned back to take a look at why she was walking so slowly, to my horror I saw her lying on the floor. Rushing to her, I fumbled with my mobile calling for an ambulance. Checking on her I was relieve to find that she was still breathing but she seemed paler than she was just a few minutes ago.

I felt very hopeless at that moment as I couldn’t do anything to help her but wait for the ambulance to get her to the hospital.

Please, please hurry up…