Holding back: Chapter 9
Written on: August 27, 2009
Time: 11:14 PM

Sometimes I wonder to myself is it really true that wad you see with your own eye is really the truth? Why was it that she choose Junjie instead of me? Was it by chance or was it fate that brought Michelle and me together? Even if I wanted to find the answer, I know that it would just be impossible; I am no god. 

"Hey there babe, was in the shower just now. Was there anything you wanted to tell me just now?" 

Everything between Michelle and me was just going great, but sometimes you wonder; is great really a good thing? We've been together for around three months now but even so sometimes I feel that I don't really know her as well as I should. Even if everyone tells me that we are really suitable for each other, there is just that divide that's just there. 

Waiting for her message to come,  I just sat in my living room  and mindlessly watch the tv. A few minutes later her reply came. Telling me that she just wanted to meet at the coffeshop we usually huant, I told her that I'd be there in round five minutes.

"Hey dear! Eh.. Why do you look like you've not been sleeping for days?"

Trying to change to another subject, I told her it was because of the projects that were going to be due soon. We ordered our dinner and continue chatting like we usually do. 

"..hey Yiwei, you know this guy Lawrence from our Thursday's module? So Charlene says that he's interested in getting to know me. I just laughed my way out of that. Haha.. "

"So I now have rival for my girl?"

Telling me that he had no chance what so ever Michelle said softly as though talking to herself, "Are you jealous?"

Telling her that that was definitely not the case, I continued feasting on my meal. 

"Micelle, have I been a good boyfriend to you and be honest." 

With a frown, she told me that she never regretted like me and also had the best time with me. Smiling, she told me not to think so much. 

Finishing our food and having a short stroll around our neighbourhood we decided to head home. While sending Michelle home, she suddenly hugged my arm and placed her head on my shoulder and said in a whisper, "I wish we can stay like this as long as possible. I really enjoy being your girl Yiwei."

Stopping there I gave her a hug and told her that I really enjoy being with her too. 

Walking home, I wondered to myself whether I made the right choice? I do like Michelle but why do I still feel confused? Can I just stop thinking so much like what she told me and just be happy with her. 

I want to be happy with her...